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PaperAndPen
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read my profile
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Name: Lauren
State: Texas
Birthday: 1/30/1987
Interests: acoustic music. staying up late. reading. sunrises on school nights. winter.
Expertise: trig functions. solitaire. silliness. kitsch.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message me
AIM:  Dancinwatermelon
Member Since:
11/9/2004
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| Well. I just don't know. My whole life has been a game of waiting. Waiting to get into college, waiting to graduate high school, waiting to go home for the summers, waiting to move, waiting to get a job. It just seems like I will never be able to carpe diem if all i am ever doing is carpe-ing the future.
I am moving again in one week. I am moving into a home with a single mom and her 6 year old daughter. I am really excited and I think it's just a great space and a great deal! Its only 5 minutes from downtown Raleigh.
Of course, now I feel bad because Justin says he won't come to see me there, because it's an hour away from where he lives. "Sounds like we won't be seeing too much of each other anymore."
It's only 10 minutes from where he works.
Waiting to break up. Waiting to move home. | | |
| The things I want to say to my boyfriend, but won't.
Heyyyy, grow up. Because i didn't MEAN to hit you in the face with that poster tube. Your lip was not supposed to bleed and you were not supposed to storm out.
You were yelling in my ear through the tube. I started to cry, because you were picking on me. You said, "You fell for the oldest trick in the tube book."
You told me about how you've pined for your beautiful blonde friend since 2004, and how good her vagina smells. "Like clean laundry, and morning pine. It blew my mind."
You said, "trust me," and put the tube back to my ear, and starting biting your nails-- the sound I hate more than anything.
I swatted the tube back at you. Pissed, sure, but not intending to make you bleed.
You had your hand on your mouth, eyes closed, for 5 seconds, and when you realized you were bleeding, you showed me, and brushed my hand off your knee. I sat while you got your keys and stormed out.
I chased after you and said, "Please don't leave made at me."
You said, "Please go back inside."
I shouldn't have trusted you when you said to trust you, and now I think about that. Will I think about that the next time you hold my hand or kiss my ears?
You've left me alone, mad at you. To muse.
Here it is. | | |
| so this guy alex i've been fooling around with....
he's ridiculously cute. I can barely accept it.
Good kisser, too.
What a good FWB.
I think he may have given me throat gonorrhea, though.
.... I'm just paranoid.
...hopefully.
He uses "curl and shine" shampoo. It smells so good.
I hope he still wants to fuck around during winter break.... that sweater is sexy as hell.
and his eyes are really sparkly when he looks at me. | | |
| paul came over today. I told him I miss him
Then he let me kiss him.
I told him I love him.
He left, rejecting me.
So i made out with Alex. A LOT.
hifdhidgpfis fn
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| I love summer.
And being single.
I SO made out with my friend Alex. for hours. I counted and i have 9 hickeys! My spine has been reduced to a series of scratch marks.
I hope he knows I'm not going to have sex with him.... no matter how many Jones Sodas he buys for me!
I love when I have a ton of booze and the house to myself....
As much as I love being single, I really miss being in love. I sort of took for granted that I had someone who knew all my favorite places to go and places to be touched...
My best friend stayed over last night and she asked about Alex. I said:
"He's a biter. I thought he was going to be more pillowy, bunny-like, like Jon."
"Jon was bunny-like?"
"Yeah."
"What about Paul?"
I wanted to say, "gummy, but sensual. Sweet, but passionate. The way they kiss in the movies, and your whole body feels absolutely filled with the intensity of the love that is behind the kiss and you wonder why you should ever need to stop."
But I started to cry instead, so I just said, "perfect."
She said, "Lauren, NO!"
I nodded enthusiastically.
Alex is so much cuter, anyway. But I need to teach him that boobs are not for BITING.
hahha. love summer...
lauren | | |
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